Crying doesn't make anything better, its make u feel worse gives you a headache and then you sleep to wake up to the smae thing, day after day smae shit, and night after night crying till your asleep.
I'm not the kind of girl how cam pour her heart out to anyone, when i don't feel that good or anything i lock myself in a room and stay in that room, although i don't talk it would be nice to ask me from time to imte if I was ok, when you know that you are the reason, and yet your to proud to lower your self down to my level.
I am not afriad of death, i never really was, why ?! Coz i wanna die, I really do, i'm not saying this coz i'm down or feel sucky, no i really wanna die, i think that the world will be a better place with out me, i am useless and no one does need me.
I laugh, joke, smile, pretend to be happy, thats the mask I always wear, when inside of me when my heart is bleeding, my soul is screaming, but i can't do anything about it, i really can't, my life is not like anyone's life, its more complicated then anyone will ever know. Am i a happy person?No i'm not, i try to be, i really do, i never ONCE ever cried to a person, coz i don't like people to see me cry coz i don't want them to think i'm weak, I cry in my room on my pillow every single night till i fall asleep, no one knows i cry and i don't want them to know.
I never wrote a post about how my life sucks, coz i never want people to think i'm a drama queen, i always try focus on the bright side of everything, and that what i tell people. But tell me what happens when there no bright side anymore, when its all dark, your whole like is all dark, and you have no one, no one you can talk to, cry to or anything, tell me what happens then ?
I know that you all will tell me to hold on it will get better, or its ok you'll move on, or god is always there for you, I will appreciate all your comments, but its easy said then done, and I know my life and i know it will never get better ...
25 comments:
im not gonna say its gonna get better but... if you ever do need someone to talk to, you know what they say..its easier to talk to a stranger than it is to someone close.
well..if you ever wanted..just in case...im always here, and i really do mean it. you have my msn..just add me..anytime =) bdoon mjamala
aaaaaaaakhhh
agolich shay?
me 2 i wana die tara
ur not alone
kilna bel hawa sawa ;p
shrych nent7er???
bas shofaay nabey shy my3we ok ;p
b3deeen heeey gabil la nent7er we gota have sex first ok
hahahaha
o nyeeeb baby 1 3al aqal
hmmmm....
sheno ba3d?
wait wait!!
ako wayed ashya we gotta do first to make sure ndkhal jahnaam 3ala 6oool hehehehehehe
ako shy I so wana do!!
akeed u2 ;p
let's kill our ex's/BF ;p
7adiiiiiiiiiii I wana kill U sushi!!!!!!!!!!!
ooofffffff low bedy!!! wala I kill him!!!!!!!!!!
;D
o etha bnmooot enmooot kilna OK ;D
bcoz we all r going through the same shit :)
U cry every night on ur pillow?
well ana I cry every night on my pillow ele msmyt-ha sushi
ako shy more pathetic?
ma atwqa3!!!
yalla 3ad the7kaaay ;p
LOVE U GIRL :* WELCOME BACK :*emwah
*may3wer
agoool lets dance ;p
Shaky shaky ;p
Hezooooooooooooo ;-)
Fuck life ;p
u think the world is better w/o u ?! why let it be that way .. Do something tht'll change tht idea.. ur who u r .. ur who u chose to be !! u can be whatever u want .. so be something thats worth it !
u can either be a pathetic loser n sob or an outgoing funny n REALLY cheerful gal - YES ! tht's how i really thnk u r- its ur choice at the end ..
Hehe seriously love urself cuz im sure there are loadz of ppl out there that love u n care for u !
P.S there can be miracles .. when u believe =)
i don't like 2see anyone feeling so sad n' wanna die coz i felt the same millions of times but really my life z goin' on
don't think that ur life z the worst coz there r lots of ppl think so
ya3ni look at the world around u i swear that every1 z suffering
this z life don't wish to die and don't think dying would be better coz u're a Muslim n' u know what's happen in our 2nd life
if someone betrayed u just go on n' don't care ,u'll meet others
btw,crying not a sign of weakness believe me crying z one of ur important rights in life
don't surrender urself to ur black thoughts that's what i can say at the end:)
desert palms:
awwwwwwwww
u really truly are so sweet
and u have no idea how wt u said made me feel better :)
thnx hun :D
palomino:
LOOOOL
el7een gabl ma nnt7r having sex ok i'm with u on that one
bs lao jbna 3ayl ma ngdr nnt7r coz then 7ram baby bedon mom :P
and then ur sushi pillow u gotta throw it away 5la9 and i'm throwing mine out and we'll get new pillows, mines will , ummm , a pillow with a pic of joe jonas :P
so kl youm i'll sleep with a smile on my face
yla u pic meen tbeen on ur pillow :P
*dancing with palo*
thnx babe :****
cookies:
yes, iam an outgoing, cerrful and funny girl and will stay that no matter wt and no mater wt anyone says :D
thnx sweeti for the boost
and i do also believe in mircals, they do happen :)
la senora lolita:
thnx babe for your comment and all wt u said is true and i never thought of it that way :)
other ppl have bigger issuse i should just move on and say al7amdallah :)
and i don't know why but that is wt i think of crying, coz ppl around me think that and i don't want them to think i'm weak thats why :)
thnx again :)
habeebti inshalla youre always feeling good =*
you must focus on the good things in life, you have so much more of what other people dont. Family as a first.
Talking to a stranger would relieve you for a moments worth, but they dont care about u nor love you as much as blood kin..
I hope you do come out of yourmiseray and be happy once more~~~!
i know this feeling i've been there myself T_T
u feel incomplete
like there is something missing but u dont know what it is n what it could be
you want someone to hear you out
yet you dont want to show your weakness coz you show ppl that ur strong all the time
shielding yourself protecting yourself from being hurt
having sleepless nights
telling God u want to die coz u dont feel needed
it's ok it's not like that anymore
you can find a way out
i found mine
i was suffering by myself i never told anyone that part of me yet
but you should have a good relationship with your family members my problem was that i didn't have that so i suffered alone maybe they won't understand you, probably laugh at you but deep down there is kindness inside
they will understand eventually n you have to be close to God read quran before you sleep it will make you calm n try n figure out what is the real problem? there must be one that made you suffer n feel pain
to rephrase the Beatles
you should try to get by with a little help from your friends.
LOOL...don't worry you will have to move on one day
but for now the best solution is to buy a big nutulla jar with marshmaloos and dip the marshmaloos in the nutulla and watch a sad movies and make some pop corn and let all your feeling flow!!;p but be sure that no one see you!!;p oky!!;p
3aaaaadi life is a bitch and then its a bitch all over again :P i wanna die too sometimes..no wallah like REALLY..the only reason i cant jump off a cliff is my commitment to my daughter, bec i dont have the freakin guts to do it and last but not least bec i know im a crappy person and everything bs im hoping o mit2amila fi ra7mat rabbi ino he forgives me anyway :D so why the hell screw up my chances and go straight to hell :P? inshalla God will make everything better. i know u dont wanna hear this but im only saying this bec i was feeling the same exact way a coupla days ago, literally wanting to die and feeling stuck in my own body. but then i realized that giving up is sort of like giving up on God, losing faith, cuz if u trust him enough u know he will make it all better, if u just pray :)
OR...lets be miserable and suicidal together :D
nice blog keep it up! :) plz dont die, we love u :D
you are not a drama queen..but I dont know what to say u here than if u need me I am there ...always :D
maybe you should die. you're a worthless piece of crap anyway
thnx everyine for thier cheerful comments :)
and as for the anonymous comment
well i think ur a sad sad person coz if u had the guts u woudn't write anonmyously so ur comment is the most comment that made me happy coz ur a pathitic loser who obviously has no life except for writting "mean" anonymous comments ...
meemz:
YA A#D CHABDI ENTY WALLAH :*****************
Its amusing you say I have no life, yet the only life you have is sitting in front of a computer screen writing useless shit on a blog. It must suck to be you since the only friends you have seem to exist on a blog. Sometimes I wonder why are all arab girls so ignorant, must be because they are spoiled, shallow, materialistic or maybe because they have too much money. seems like the only thing they care about is shopping and watching American T.V shows, they couldn't give a shit about anything else. as for me writing 'anonymously' what difference does it make since everyone here doesn't use their real name anyway.
you said I'm a sad person, well i'm not the one with suicidal thoughts dear
Ciao lesbo =)
You accused her of being ignorant and shallow, yet you end it by calling her a lesbo. Pot calling the kettle black?
and by the way did i mention that we can kill you YES KILL YOU!!i have a this device where i can track you down!! we are terrorists isn't that WHAT YOU THINK!! ur such a big sterotypical person!!;p dude get a life!!and yet you say that balqees should get a life and you write worthless comment that don't even make since you should think before you speak but i don't blame you i blame your parents for not taking care of you so well!!
SORRY BALQEES BAS 7ARNEE I9RA7A!!;P
'meemzz' you're an idiot but I won't hold that against you since you're young, the sad thing is you will probably remain that way.
as for everything else you wrote, you proved everything I said to be true, as for me being jealous of your money, sorry money isn't important to me.
You should put your little device away, aren't you a little to old to be playing with toys, and I don't know why you want to kill me don't you think there's enough killing in the world.
I find it amusing that you call me a racist, since anyone who has ever been to an arab country seems to think otherwise
Ciao isn't my name it means goodbye in italian, when I say 'lesbo' I was referring to the author of this blog
anyways there's no point arguing with a retard
you somthing anonymous dude who really has no life but "trying" to make himself feel better by fighting with other ppl
and you know something else this is MY blog i can write wtever i want in it and i don't care wt u say, i don't even know who u r
so if u want to write that i should go kill my self or i'm a lesbian or a stuck up who has no life .. etc, dude write on and on and on i really don't care, coz well do u think anyone cares wt u write no one even cares, so u can write on and on u can even write in each post wtever u wt, its my blog and i can write wtever i want, and i don't car wt a pathatic shit bag like you writes in it, coz to me and to evey other person UR the loser with no life,
ur free to say wtever u want ...
LOOK WHO EVER YOU ARE!! I'M YOUNG BUT YOUR TO OLD TO BE MESSING AROUND HERE!! you should get a life or get married or do something else cause it shows that you have become too OLD cause all old people DON'T MAKE ANY SINCE!! so yes grandpa GET MARRIED OR DO SOMETHING ELSE
SURE YOU DO!! ur really jelouse and piontless
WELL SCINCE YOU JUST MENCTIONED THAT WE ALL kuwaities don't care only about money and shopping?!why don't you continue on and say that were torrorists!! isn't that what ALL AMERICAN OR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T MAKE SCINCE SAY!!
YOU KNOW WHAT EVER YOU SAY UR STILL GUNNA BE A RACIST!!CAUSE EVERY THING YOUR SAYING is either of these two word RACEISM OR STROETYPING!!
AND SAME GOES HERE THER IS NO PIONT ARGUING WITH A TOTALLY OLD GRANDPA THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO ONLY PUTTING HE'S RIDUCLUS THOUGHTS INTO A COMMENT!!
and by the way i think your to old for marriage and no one wants to take a fool like you!!
ya sure my ass 24 you sound like a retarded 50 years old grandpa if not 60!!
go kill yourslef i don't care if you care at least your reading what i'm saying and if you don't care then why the hell are you reading my comments?!;p
and by the way you have nothing to talk about and for sure you can't say anything about what i wrote on my own previous comment and to prove to you about what i just said
you just wrote about how bad my spelling is and you didn't even know that my spelling suck until you saw my blog so go kill yourself and i just knew that you really don't have a life cause your not only writting your worthless comments here your writing it everywhere and not in american blogs just in arab blogs and your saying that your not jelouse!!;p IT SHOWS!!
wow u couldn't care less
i see thas obvious, coz ur still writing arn't u
i u didn't care u wouldn't even come
and i think u should do that
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